I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wish my penis had an off switch
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
