he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
