I'm going to jail i love you
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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