I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize