I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
