Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
