hotel room ftw
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
