Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
