jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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