i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
