Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
