What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
