She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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