Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just gargled with NyQuil
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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