I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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