whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
