She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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