Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You may now shotgun with the bride
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
