Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
did you just send me my own nude
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
