if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
