Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
