Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
