We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
