im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I puked a lego.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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