Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize