May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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