Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
