In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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