your thong is hanging out like whoa
P.S. I can't hear my feet
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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