Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
