The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
