How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
