You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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