and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
