I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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