She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
