You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So many bounce houses so little time
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
