Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
