I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
