oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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