Screwed.edu
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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