Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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