I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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