Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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