i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
