I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize