Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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