i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
