Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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