Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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