Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
