im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
