i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
