Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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