then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
do nipples grow back?
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