I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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