To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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