hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
