Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize
