He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
operation have a gay friend backfired
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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