dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
