I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
