oh god the rape fog is back!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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