i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
