You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize