Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
