Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
